Paper Bag It
by Sirisexual
Summary: Just read it. I am sososo sorry to anyone who might've actually had respect for me as an author. 3 don't hate me! (THIS IS A JOKE FIC)


"Harry Potter. Something you'd like to share with the class? No? Well then, Mr. Potter, can you tell me what is so important that it requires attempted note passing? No? Very well. 30 points from Gryffindor." Snape smirks. I get glares from all of the Gryffindors around the room. "You can earn the points back if you pass a pop quiz after class. Now..." He starts back into his lecture on Amortentia, and leaves the note on my desk without looking at it. I let out a breath. Snape gets called out of class by Professor Flitwick. I take the note and scribble more onto it before handing it to Ron across the aisle.

_Snape is so sexy. I'm not sure if I can take it anymore._

Underneath that:

_Holy shit. How am I supposed to keep my cool? Being in a classroom alone with him? I'm dead.._

Ron snorts and scrawls a response. He passes it back just as Snape comes back into the classroom.

_I don't know what you see in him, but I say you go for it. He might be a little nicer if he got laid._

I roll my eyes, but allow my mind to wander to what it would be like. I wonder if he's a virgin. Or if he's even gay... Maybe I _should_ go for it... But.. No. I'm going to at least hint it to him. I mean, we're gonna be **alone**. For the first time. Oh god, how wonderful it would feel (I'm guessing) to have him inside of me. There's a stiffness in my pants, but I don't bother to hide it. I want him to see. Class ends, and Ron winks at me and claps me on the back before exiting the classroom. I make my way up to Snape's desk as everyone else files out of the room past me. He motions me to the counter in front of me.

"Get out a quill."He slaps a quiz down in front of me. Shit. All of the questions are on _today's_ lecture. Okay. I can do this. He hovers over me as I rack my brain for answers. About 5 minutes go by, and he snatches the quiz off the counter.

"So, Potter. Let this serve as a lesson. Pay attention in my class, or there will be consequences." He grins, nastily.

"Um, sir. What about the points?" I stand up.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to pass notes in my class then, hmm?" He looks very pleased with himself. "What was on that note, anyway?"

I blush brighter than Ron's hair. "Well, I... I, umm..."

He raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Well, I sort of have a crush on a umm... Teacher... And well, I was having... Issues. Because it's hard for me to focus when he's around."

"That makes no sense. Was he in my class potter?" He sits on the counter in front of me.

"Well, erm. I really can't. Maybe he. Erm. Well see, he." I look at my hands and mumble "Yes."

He freezes. His smirk completely vanishes. I grab my quill and start to leave. He grabs my shoulder and turns me around. His eyes hold mine fiercely. "M-me?"

I clear my throat "Umm, ye-yes." His eyes trail down my face and torso to my lap. He sees my protruding member. He pushes himself up and off the counter top and steps closer to me.

"What did the note say?" He murmurs. I retrieve the note from my back pocket and hand it to him. He smooths it out and reads it. I chew on my lip and wait for him to speak. _Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell._ "Your Weasley friend seems to think it prudent for me to have intercourse." He hops off of the counter and circles me.

"Ron was just goofing around, he didn't mean-"

"I agree completely. It's been... A long time since I've done the frick frack." He stands behind me and breathes the words against my neck. A shiver runs down my spine.

"How long?" I whisper.

"Too long." He whispers back and softly kisses the back of my neck. I turn to face him, he leans in and our lips meet. The kiss is slow at first, but builds up and up until I'm sitting on the counter with my legs wrapped around his waist.

"Have you ever been with a guy?" I ask against his lips.

"Not yet." He smirks. My breath hitches as he pulls me closer. He slides his hands up my shirt and explores with cold fingers. He pulls them out and swiftly undoes my tie. God, that was hot. We both shrug off our robes and I pull off my vest. He looks me straight (well not exactly) in the eyes and rips open, yes **rips** open, my shirt. Dear Wizard God. Apparently under Snape's first robe is another. I pull that one off of him and other that one is another one. And another. And another. And one more. I pull them all off until I reach the pale, milky beauty underneath. His boxers have little snakes all over them, and I can see the biggest snake pushing against the fabric. I don't know how, but all of a sudden, my trousers are on the floor, and he's grinding against me with his lips smashed against mine.

"Can I admit something embarrassing?" He whispers.

"Of course." My brain is slightly distracted, but I've waited for this forever, and I don't wanna fuck it up.

"I sort of have this... Fetish... That I've wanted to try out for a long time, but I don't want to ask that of you because this would be your first time ever..." He holds my eyes with thick lust.

"What's your fetish?" Oh, man. Fetishes are so hot. I hope it's something really kinky.

"Really?" He asks, surprised. I nod eagerly. "Well, umm... P- and I understand that this is considered rather odd, but... Paper bags..."

Oh. That's a little less hot. "Umm... What do you do with them?"

"Well umm... Erm. The other person sort of... Wears it on their face. They'd have eye holes and a mouth hole, but... Yeah" He backs away from me with his head down. Well, shit. I _really_ don't wanna do this, but I also really _do_ want to have sex with Snape, which won't happen if he feels insecure and judged. I take his chin in my hand.

"Let's try it." I say, glad my voice comes out more sure than I actually am.

"R-really?" He asks, excited but nervous.

"Really." He squeaks (which is really adorable) and opens the cupboard underneath me. He pulls out a paper bag and cuts three holes in it. He places it over my head and keeps it correctly positioned with magic so I can see and breathe. He grins at me and rips off my boxers. Alright, I might be a little uncomfortable, but I'm about to have- HOLY SHIT!

I moan loudly as Snape envelopes my hard figure in his mouth. Holy actual massive fuck. This is the- ahhh! best feeling I've ever felt. I'm just about to cum when he stops. I frown at him, but he just pulls away and grins at me. He goes to his desk and grabs a potion jar labeled 'Lubrication'. "People figure I use it for potions, but nope." He walks back over to me and dips one finger into the jar. He pushes my knees up to my chest so he has easy-arse-access, and sets his finger at my entrance.

"Ready?" I bite my lip and nod. The paper bag crinkles, but at this point I don't even notice it. He pushes his finger in. Wow, that's tight. After a couple minutes of probing, I'm able to loosen up so he can slip another finger in, and another. Eventually, he takes his fingers out to lube up his baloney pony. He leans down and kisses my bagged head gently. I nod slowly to assure him I'm ready, and he slowly pushes inside of me. Okay, wow wow ow ow ow. I bite my lip really hard until I taste blood. He notices I'm clenching, and take my love muscle in his hand and starts to stroke it to get me to loosen up. It works. I start groaning at the overwhelming feeling of him thrusting in and out of me and stroking my skin flute at the same time. I cum quickly, yelling his name out. He stops stroking me, but doesn't stop thrusting his tube steak in me. He hold my head up so I look into his eyes.

He cums and yells "Lily!" It could be Harry, but I can't think straight right now. He thrusts a few more times before pulling his schmeckle out of me and collapsing next to me. I turn towards him and he embraces me.

"You have your mother's eyes." He murmurs.


End file.
